a few days ago was remembrance day, november 11,
at eleven minutes past eleven we bow our head in
silence and remember all the fallen soldiers of all
the past world wars as well as those current wars.
so much sacrifice so that we can live free.
but really i think it is just good to remember things
and reflect on your own life as well.

in this life we are meant to endure countless losses
it seems this is what it is to be human and perhaps
in some strange way, what we lose connects us
to one another, no matter what country we live in
or language we speak or religion we practice and
even if we have no religion everyone of us knows
what it is to have lost something in our lives. so it is
good to remember, it can bring a smile to your face
but it can make you weep.

i am listening to horse feathers and the singer has
this soft voice and when ever i hear them i seem to
be fighting back tears. that and i have been feeling
a little melancholic as i reflect and remember people
i have lost and events that have come to pass in my
life. i am watching my parents grow older and it
saddens me for some reason.
must be one of the stranger emotions for a parent, to
be witness to and to continually lose that little child
you once new. maybe you were smart enough to have
recorded their voice and hopefully took countless
photographs of your child that make you smile but
also you know you will never have that three year old,
four year old, five year old again. they grow up and
become the new them and that is good but in some
small way you morn the loss of that little boy that you
loved so much and that thought you were the most
amazing creature on earth, however fleeting this
devotion was.
i can't recall where i was going with all
of this but no matter... it was about time i updated this
journal.

the winter wrens are back, the sun is shining and the
maple tree has her last golden leaves hanging on
until the next storm takes them away...